So, Kym and I just finished watching Garden State (thank you Netflix). The soundtrack is, of course, awesome, so we queued up a few songs in Real Rhapsody (thank you Internets). Exploration of The Shins led up to Modest Mouse. Now, Kym has just returned from India and points east, so she missed the whole “Spring of Modest Mouse”. You know, you couldn’t go to the bathroom without hearing Float On.

So, I played it for her, again via The Internets.

Ten seconds into it, she was over it, and then:

“The last time I heard these guys, they were called The Talking Heads.”

BURN!!!!

This just scans and scans for days and days.

I talked to Michael this week .. lots of news on that front. He is starting school at the end of the month. . going back to finish up his Psychology degree, which is just awesome. He and the little missus will be visiting Casa d. Hamrick (East Coast Version Mark II) sometime before then — flying in from the Big Bad Big City (West Coast Style) That promises to be a good deal of fun.

I told Michael about finding the Dark Globe flexi-disk, and he said “Yeah I know, I put it there to keep it safe.” He also told me that it belonged to Pam, which makes alot of sense. Some people would call that synchronicity, but I call it Two Things At Once.

Michael also told me that he enjoyed the Tattoo Story. He said that mom and dad had read some of this. . . drivel. . and were probably freaking out. Oh well. They were probably freaking out anyway, so at least now they have a well-defined set of things over which to freak. . . probably less worrisome than the fruits of their combined imaginations. It could be worse.

I spent yesterday at the National Gallery with Lara, exploring all the myriad ways of brush strokes, photographic emulsion, and bending metal to your will. Lara has studio experience — so she can talk about brush strokes and meaning — and I know enough Art History to talk about Which Dead Guy Did What. She talked alot about Roy, and I talked alot about Chuck, Mark, and Auguste ,and we both talked alot about why so many other people — the unwashed masses — had invaded our museum. The moral here is that when two unrepentant egomaniacs get together, It was a great day. Take that Nina Seribrennikov!

Last night I helped Caitlin (there you go) and Maya move into their new digs. There was an entire crew there, a virtual panoply of DC’s best and brightest. I told Maya and Caitlin about the day at the museums. Caitlin smirked and Maya flashed me a winning smile. I think the next time I see them I’ll request that they investigate sprezzatura.

After the heavy lifting, we all settled down and watched Vin Diesel’s star turn in Boiler Room. It turned into a weird night and I’ve spent most of the day today trying to figure it all out.

Yes. . there are parts I’m leaving out — and no they are not what you think. And no, I’m not going to tell you about them. . .hence the leaving out aspect of leaving stuff out. Jesus Christ. . it’s like working with chimps.

I spent today on the thinking, the writing, and the reading. Three months, four books and 3270 pages later, I have finished Tad Williams’ Otherland series. Gods Be Praised! now I can go read something that makes sense, like Advanced Particle Physics for the Devastating Clever.

I gotta go. . somewhere in syndication-land Buffy and Willow are gearing up to fight the Big Bad.

OK One last thing. . . remember what J says, “I’ve got no advice about anything, just fuck it up yourself”

OK. One last thing really. . now Polvo’s Fractured (Like Chandeliers) is playing. Good night Helen, where ever you are.

A ghettofabulous night with HT. It was movie night at Casa d. Hamrick, and tonight’s selection did not fail to disappoint. I was fortunate enough in my wanderings to pick up a copy of Are You Being Served?: The Movie — yes, the movie — an invited Holly over for a screening. Oh god, the endless humanity. . .

When I was a teenager, I went with my friend Pam Ashcraft to see Children of the Corn III. Yes, in the theater. Pam recoiled from the horror and watched the entire movie with her face buried in her knees. I felt like that tonight as I watched the once mighty Frank Thorton reduced to delivering toilet humor.

Here’s the plot in a nutshell — spoiler warning (sic). The Grace Brothers staff goes on vacation while the story being remodeled. Hi-jinks ensue, including a botched Spanish revolution and a “bedroom round-robin” in the greatest farce tradition. That’s it. That’s the movie.

There were two high points of note. The first was the appearance of Andres Sachs (’Manuel’ from Fawlty Towers) as the hotel concierge. The other was this line delivered by Mr. Grainger; “That’s what made the British great. . . stupid, but great”.

The rest of the movie rates two stars from even the most fervent AYBS fans. The humor was all low-brow toilet and sex humor, and not the clever, dry, sardonic humor usually on display from the British. . .and as it was basically a 90 minute episode of Are You Being Served?, the movie could have used a laugh track.

The final review from me and Holly. . . Mr. Grainger rocks, the movie is below average.

The other big news from the night. . I was filing away my Kids Incorporated soundtrack album — the original cast featuring Martika — and what did I find in the record sleeve but the R.E.M. Dark Globe 5 3/4 inch flexi-single from the January 1990 issue of Sassy Magazine when R.E.M. was on the Cute Band Alert.. Holy Unbelievable Crazy Luck! That’s like discovering nuclear fusion. . by accident. Of course, I spazzed out and blew my cool . .but Holly was a sport and let me freak out over it.Thank you and good night!
2

Over the last 24 hours I’ve watched two movies taken from books — Bogey and Bacall in Raymond Chandler’s The Big Sleep and Pamela Anderson in Barb Wire, taken from the Dark Horse comic of the same name. Stop sniggering, I had insomnia and it was on.

For the uninitiated, The Big Sleep was Lauren Bacall’s third film, following To Have and to Have Not, which put her on the map, and some forgettable film with Charles Boyer, which was so horrible it almost took right back off of the map. The plot of The Big Sleep is too convoluted to explain here, but it’s your basic Phillip Marlowe detective story: a gumshoe, a big galoot, two patsies and a broad with great gams. The screenplay was written by William Faulkner, and it is in my opinion, some of Bogart’s best work. The only strike against it is that it doesn’t have a voice-over. You know, “She walked into my office and I knew she trouble with a capital - T. A crazy-eyed dame with a hard edged mouth and a set of go-sticks that stopped at her neck.” You get the point. I just want to make sure you understand how very good the movie is. Got it? ok .. moving on. .

To Barb Wire. Um. . . not a whole lot to say here. Your standard mid-1990s post-apocalyptic B-movie with big explosions and a horrible techno soundtrack. Yes, the soundtrack has a few songs by Tommy Lee and the Masters of Mayhem. Thanks for asking. Thanks for making me re-live the suck. Rae Dawn Chong is also in it — but of course, she is in every B sci-fi movie. It’s in her contract. And no. . . Pamela Anderson doesn’t get naked. At least not that I saw — but the movie was on UPN so if she had gotten naked they would have shown it.

“UPN turned into a hard-core porn channel so gradually that I hardly even noticed.”

Which brings me to today’s topic, the latest comic book to movie crossover. . . Batman Versus Superman. Yes, Warner Brothers has decided to unleash this idea on an unsuspecting public. Are they totally out of ideas over at the WB? I mean really — make a Dawson’s Creek movie, or a Roswell movie. . or even a Charmed movie — anything but this. There are so many things wrong with this, that I feel compelled to make a list:

• There are three great philosophical debates of the 20th Century: The nature of perception, the existence of a supreme being, Batman versus Superman. Who do they think they are to try to answer that question definitively? Don’t toy with the eternal verities. It’s blasphemy at best and heresy at worst.
• The last Batman movie sucked. The last Superman movie sucked. Christopher Reeves can’t play Superman. George Clooney won’t play Batman. Do the math. (Sucked + sucked) / (paralysis x idiot) = Box office bomb.
• They already fought, remember! Batman kicked Superman’s ass. Shot with a Kryptonite bullet.

The better fight would be Batman against Spiderman . . with Kirsten Dunst as the prize.

Just so you know my stance on the B vs. S debate . . . Until Superman decides to fight dirty like Batman does, Batman will always kick Clark Kent’s butt. If The Man of Steel ever decided to really unleash on Bruce Wayne. . . well .. two words. .. heat vision. Holy Bat Toast Batman!

I think that Hollywood should take a cue from the British. The British make movies, the British make television . .and never the twain shall meet. Honestly, can you imagine an Are You Being Served? movie? Anthony Hopkins as Captain Peacock. Or an As Time Goes By movie? Or a Keeping Up Appearances movie? Who would play Mrs Bucket?

I think those questions are better left unanswered. However, feel free to submit any ideas for great Brit TV to film crossovers. I’ll select the very best one, and post it here. And I’ll throw in a copy of the book The Mothman Prophecies just to make it interesting.

In other news, the new Hey Mercedes EP is coming out on Tuesday. A review will follow on Tuesday night.